


Santa Clarita Diet AU stuff

by DovahCourts



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fanart, Incorrect Quotes, M/M, Santa Clarita Diet AU, Teen Gary Green, Teen John Constantine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23333590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DovahCourts/pseuds/DovahCourts
Summary: Avalance Santa Clarita Diet AU with a side of Constangreen is a go
Relationships: John Constantine/Gary Green, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Kudos: 14





	1. Quote: My God, that's a lot for me to process

**Ava** : Hey everyone. Don't freak out because a cop's bringing John home.

**Cop** : I got a call from a colleague who pulled Constantine over for running a stop sign on a motorcycle without plates or a VIN number, in a jacket that says "Dick&Pussy Magnet."

**Sarah** : What?

**Ava** : My God, that's a lot for me to process


	2. Quote: they could still trace our footprint based on our shoe size!

**Constantine** : Okay, don't freak out. We'll be okay. We threw out the shoes we wore that night.

 **Gary** : John, they could still trace our footprint based on our shoe size!


	3. Quote: Fucking Serbia!

**Ava** : I realize it’s not their fault, but fucking Serbia! Other than tennis players, has anything good come out of that country?


	4. Doodle: Comic book store




	5. Quote: I feel like we should stop and get a coffee.

**John:** So tomorrow I'm going to the beach with my parents. I'm actually looking forward to it. There's this oyster truck we always go to. The oysters are okay, but the guy gave me a beer once.

 **Gary:** Cool. Should we go get a coffee? I feel like we should stop and get a coffee.


	6. Quote: Oh my God, you stole tear gas from Vandal!?

**John:** I have tear gas I stole from Vandal.

**Sarah** : Oh my God, you stole tear gas from Vandal!?

**John** : Mom killed him and you ate him.


	7. QUOTE: Still, you can suck my dick.

**Gary:** I’m just sorry I never got a chance to let him know how I feel.

**Constantine:** You could tell him now. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.

**Gary:** There was never a moment I wasn’t scared of you. But when I see you like this I realize you’re just a small, sad man. And who knows, maybe you treated me so badly because someone else did the same thing to you.

**Constantine:** Wow. That’s really sweet.

**Gary:** I’m not done. Still, you can suck my dick.


	8. QUOTE: Mormons are helpful.

**Ava:** Act casual.

 **Sara:** Really? This is what we’re doing?

 **Ava:** Okay, we say we came across this murder site and we’re just cleaning it up.

 **Sara:** Who cleans up murder sites?

 **Ava:** I don’t know. We’re Mormons.

 **Sara:** Mormons don’t clean up murder sites.

 **Ava:** Mormons are helpful.


	9. Where's my other boot?

**Sara:** Where's my other boot?  
 **Ava:** Slightest chance that you traded it for a human heart?


End file.
